Get the FXXK away from my bike!

In spirit of protecting our bikes I think that we need to come together and set aside our differences once and for all. If we all realize that there is only one common enemy in the fight against bike theft and work to rid ourselves of him, and her, forever. Yes, that enemy is the the GTFAFMB hippy. Setting: Streets of the city that you live in. Scenario: Whilst leaving a convenience store, where you were purchased some juiced to offer the gods of re hydration, you happen upon a hippy and his overweight companion pouring over your bike as some unshaven college intern fumbles with the manual focus on a Canon GL1 that has seen better days. You question the hippy as to his motives and he explains how he is making a video of how easy it would be to steal your bike. Naturally the GTFAFMB lump rises in your throat, as you have had several bike parts stolen to date, and you to the hippy to kindly fuck off and go film women walking home at night. A dim black light bulb appears above the hippy's head as realizes there are several other video he can make and all would have the "blame the victim" thread in common. He saunters off leaving the intern, who will later become the fat girls sustenance because she lent her last $10 to the hippy, and you unlock your bike but not before looking over your shoulder several times. I actually thought that GTFAFMB should be GTFAFMBYFH but the "you fxxking hippy" seems a little redundant. Besides getting away from some body's bike shouldn't be limited to hippys. To date the same hippy has made seven other short movies all with a different intern. They are as follows:
Children that would be easy to kidnap
Stores that are easy to rob
Old people that are a cinch to push down
Sofas that are easy to crash on
Gullible teenagers who buy shake
Interns who think filming me will lead to a job( still in production)
Cars that are easy to steal